


For Rent: Cozy Bungalow

by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Foursome, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3194303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vera_DragonMuse/pseuds/Vera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2 bd, 1 1/2 bath, eat in kitchen, in up and coming neighborhood. Condo alternative! Perfect for a young family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Rent: Cozy Bungalow

Kitchen

 

By long habit, Tauriel woke up at dawn. The actual time made little difference, it was the coming of the sun that shook her awake. Kili burrowed into the warm spot she left behind in the bed with a soft grunt. 

 

On light feet, she’d took advantage of the empty bathroom to shower and swath herself in a thick robe. By the time she reached the kitchen, Legolas had the coffee started. There were dark smudges under his eyes, marks of the insomnia that had plagued him all his life. His hands were wrapped around an oversized green mug. 

 

“Morning,” she murmured and poured herself a cup quickly, a few drops of the still brewing coffee hitting the burner with a sizzle until she replaced the pot. 

 

“Yes, it is,” Legolas kicked out her chair for her and relaxed backwards into his. 

 

The kitchen could only fit a table if they pushed one against the wall, leaving room for three chairs. If they all ate together, it was in the living room. Here though, Tauriel could tangle her bare legs around his silky pajama clad ones, reveling in the texture and warmth. 

 

“Classes today?” She asked. 

 

“Four,” he sighed. “My adviser is in Belize again.” 

 

“Does she ever have time to actually advise you?” 

 

“She has time to tell me that I’m her bitch,” Legolas shrugged. “That’s sort of the same thing.” 

 

Sometimes, while Tauriel sipped her coffee, Legolas would sink down under the table and open her robe. He liked to eat her out in the slowest way possible until she was biting down on the meat of her thumb to keep from screaming the house down. When he was done, he would return to his chair as if nothing had occurred and sip politely at his coffee. 

 

She never knew if it was going to be that kind of morning and it kept a pleasant anticipatory frisson going until Fili’s alarm went off. The sound broke the tension and their legs disentangled under the table. Fili would wander in, heavy lidded and yawning, his feet stuffed into ratty slippers. 

 

“I’m going to the city on a case today. Promised Ori I’d meet him for dinner after,” he said, slowly stirring cream into his cup until it was barely discernable as coffee. 

“When will you be back?” Legolas asked, barely masking his panic. 

 

“Eight or nine, I’d guess. It’s a weekday after all,” Fili said through a yawn, apparently oblivious to the ratcheting concern around the table. 

 

“You’ll check the traffic?” Tauriel urged. “Wouldn’t want to get stuck.” 

 

“Of course,” Fili smiled bemusedly at them, then stole Legolas’ tablet and pulled up the New York Times. He read them the headlines until Tauriel picked an article. 

 

They finished waking up to Fili reading about congressional hearings and interior designers’ dating scene.  Kili eventually shuffled in, his hair rucked up in all directions. 

 

“Legolas’ turn?” Kili shuffled in. 

 

“How’d you guess? You want weather or sports?” 

 

“Weather,” Kili poured himself coffee with a generous helping of sugar.  

 

Then came the dance. Tauriel watched it every morning with renewed amusement. Fili switched hands on the coffee mug, lifted the now free arm up. Kili sat down on his lap, tucked his face into Fili’s neck and poured half of the contents of his mug into Fili’s without looking. All the while, Fili went on reading aloud as if none of it had happened with a sip of his newly sweetened coffee with every evidence of satisfaction. 

 

She’d asked once if they’d practiced that maneuver and they’d both looked at her utterly blank and said in unison, “What maneuver?” 

 

“Hm, chance of snow tonight,” Fili frowned. “I’ll keep an eye out.” 

 

“Why?” Kili finally took a sip of his own coffee, wrinkled his nose, stole Fili’s and dumped some of it back into his mug, then drank again. 

 

“Ori. Dinner,” Fili rubbed a hand between Kili’s shoulder blades. “Tomorrow is a high of forty through. That should take care of any snow thinking to stick.” 

 

Kili frowned, but said nothing. Tauriel and Legolas exchanged another tense look. 

 

“I’m going to go shower,” Legolas decided, abandoning his mug. 

 

“Sink!” Fili scolded, but it was too late. 

 

“He does it on purpose,” Tauriel pointed out. “Because you always clean it for him.” 

“I know,” Fili heaved a sigh, “but if I don’t then I’ll know it’s sitting there all day and then he’ll put more coffee in it when he gets home and drink all that curdled residue.” 

 

“He did manage to make it this far without you saving him from stomach aches,” Kili muttered. 

 

“Says the man who ate Ramen spice packet yesterday as experiment.” 

 

“Well, I’ve had you this far,” Kili laughed. “T, baby, you want some scrambled eggs?” 

 

“Please,” she beamed at him as he dislodged himself to kiss her nose and then rustle up actual breakfast. 

 

Though Kili made all their eggs together, he always managed to only add the chedder cheese to her. This bit of sleight of hand always warmed her and settled into her stomach for the day as filling as the meal itself. 

 

“Should I pick up something for tonight?” She offered when their plates were clean. Only Fili was a reliable cook of anything above bachelor food, but sometimes Kili got it into his head to try. Hence the Ramen packet. 

 

“Let’s to Thai,” Kili determined. “Have a Fili unfriendly meal while he’s out.” 

 

“Good idea,” Fili grinned. “Save me some sticky rice though. I’ll use it for something tomorrow night.” 

 

“I should go,” Tauriel sighed, eyes on the clock. She rounded the table until Fili’s arm slid around her waist. 

 

“Have an uneventful day,” he canted his face up to hers. She leaned in and pressed their foreheads together.  

 

“You too,” she kissed him, light and sweet. 

 

“What about me?” Kili demanded and she rounded on him with a laugh, pinning his shoulders to the chair with a kiss that was more a dirty promise than a goodbye. 

 

“You, don’t bother your uncle so much that he puts you back on traffic.” 

 

“Ugh,” Kili sagged back. “Too late. I’m manning the speedtrap on fifth.” 

 

She dressed quickly, checking over her belt before heading out. The last thing she heard was Legolas calling out to Kili and her boys all having a laugh. There were far worse ways to start the day. 

Full Bath 

 

When Legolas ceded the bathroom, Fili and Kili went in together. They’d mastered the rhythm of showering, a careful dance of shampoo, conditioner and soap. It had gotten to the point that they were far slower when going at it alone. 

 

Afterwards, Fili ran the brush through Kili’s hair and braided it back off his face while Kili brushed his teeth and shaved. A change of positions and they were ready to face the day. 

 

They had been too intimate, too close, for longer than either could recall. This was their claustrophobic life, breathing each other’s air and blocking out the light. Once, Fili had thought that would be the end of it. They would be all the other could have. 

 

But the world had been kind to them. 

 

“Who’s driving me to school?” Legolas leaned in the doorway. 

 

“That’ll be me, my lord,” Kili dropped his hands onto Fili’s shoulders, squeezing lightly before stepping back.  “I’ll even buy you a croissant if you warm up the car.” 

 

“Where are your keys?” Legolas perked up considerably with the offer and Fili hid a smile. 

 

“Bureau.” 

 

“Hey,” Kili leaned in when Legolas had walked off. 

 

“Hey,” Fili smiled at him in the mirror, their faces a match one to the other without being obvious. Here was the nose they shared, the dip on their top lip, the furrow between their eyebrows. Here were there eyes, utterly different with Fili’s gathering lines and Kili’s utterly smooth. 

 

“I’ll miss you today,” Kili sighed just as he did every morning. 

 

“I know,” Fili reached up and pat him on the cheek. 

 

They used to go to work together too until Fili’s disgust had carried him from family and guns  to frightened children and paperwork. Though Kili was proud of the degree Fili had earned, he hated the fork their paths had taken. 

 

They split when they reached the bathroom door, their days veering from each other. 

  
  


Living Room

 

 

Kili slammed through the front door, a flurry of papers, equipment and hair.  

 

“I’m home!” 

 

“Yes, we noticed,” Legolas was draped artfully over the arm of their salvaged couch. He was the only one could make the floral monstrosity look interestingly vintage instead of sadly stained.  

 

“How was your day?” Tauriel asked from the floor, her legs at a painful looking angle. 

 

“Could’ve been better,” he kicked off his boots and knelt down by her head for an upside down kiss. “Morning on traffic duty, afternoon on desk work. How were the forest critters?”

 

“Quiet. I had to save two dumb hikers, who climbed a rock face and couldn’t figure out how to get down,” she heaved a sigh. “Ah well, at least we’re employed.”  

 

“I’m employed,” Legolas said loudly. 

 

“You’re making less than minimum wage,” Tauriel gently nudged him with her foot. “I think that counts more as serfdom.” 

 

“It’s about intellectual achievement, not money.”

 

“Didn’t you have to correct a student last week, who thought the sun revolved around the earth? For the second time?” Kili asked innocently. 

 

Legolas folded his arms over his chest, the picture of wounded pride. Tauriel rolled her eyes, then made a complicated hand gesture in Kili’s direction. There followed a short debate via eyebrows and nose wrinkling until he gave in with a sigh. 

 

Kili pushed himself up and launched himself onto Legolas, using the moment of surprise to plant a loud wet raspberry on the side of his neck. 

 

“You foul bastard!” Legolas shrieked before giving way to helpless laughter as Kili refused to yield. 

 

They fell off the couch with a collective thud. Their wrestling turned quickly to something else and Tauriel left them to work out their collective frustrations with dry humping while she dished out food. The novelty of on demand guy on guy porn hadn’t quite worn off yet, but she was starting to develop a more discerning palette. Kili goading Legolas into a rough handjob on the stained carpet didn’t make the cut.  

 

She used their distraction to steal away the remote and by the time they were ready to eat, she was already engrossed in the third inning and muttering dark threats against the pitcher. 

 

“Ugh,” Kili and Legolas chorused, but she ignored them blithely.  

 

“I picked up dinner,” she said sweetly. 

 

The problem was that they worked best altogether. It wasn’t what Tauriel had envisioned when she’d walked up the crumbling sidewalk to her boyfriend’s house and sat down next to his brother. It wasn’t what she thought of when she scraped Legolas up off the ground, still a bloody mess and still as beautiful as the day she’d left him. She had envisioned a life alone or perhaps with a like minded partner, who gave her ample breathing space. 

 

She hadn’t expected this elbow to elbow, nose in her side, too many questions and too many opinions sort of life. 

 

“T, have mercy,” Kili flung himself across her lap with a dark cloud brewing over his brow. “Anything, but sports.” 

 

“There’s a documentary about the Tree That Owns Itself on in a half-hour,” Legolas echoed the plea. 

 

“Baseball or a documentary,” Kili groaned, heavy across her legs. She loved him so profoundly that she wanted to kill him half the time. 

 

It was one of those things. 

 

“Get us beers,” Legolas poked Kili. 

 

“We’re out,” Kili shut his eyes as if that were a fate worse than death. 

 

“Right. We could get more,” Legolas ventured, but the car keys were far away and their wallets far from fat. 

 

“Or we could use the last of the rum,” she suggested, hoping to keep them busy until she could get into the fifth inning.  

 

“There’s ginger ale, I think,” Legolas was on his feet and Kili behind him, jabbering about potential flatness. 

 

When one of them was gone, things just weren’t the same, but it was the worst without Fili. Despite being younger than Tauriel and Legolas both, he was very much their designated adult. Without him, it was all junk food, whining and eventually, far too much drinking on a work night. 

 

“Here, love,” Kili put a cold red plastic cup in her hand. It tasted like the underside of a bar stool and she drank it down without question. 

 

“Only that one,” she said firmly and put her cup aside. 

 

“Good idea,” Kili sipped his and hooked his chin over her shoulder while Legolas sat behind them on the couch, Kili’s body filling the space between his legs. 

 

Hours later, the front door opened and shut. Tauriel opened her eyes to see a pair of boots with grit stuck in the treads. She groaned and closed them, then reopened and there was the collar of Fili’s shirt and the beautiful stretch of his neck. 

 

“C’mon,” he said gently, arm slipping under her shoulders and he hauled her upward. 

 

“I’m too tall for this,” she informed him blearily as he carried her wedding style into her room. 

 

“Probably,” he agreed and kissed her cheek. “They’re both on the couch. Callous asses. How’d you get stuck with the floor? You can usually outpace them both on booze.” 

 

“Not drunk,” she yawned. “Kili started playing with my hair, the cheat.” 

 

His laugh rumbled through her and she wanted to curl into him entirely. 

 

“Stay,” she put her fingers around his wrist when he made to draw away. “Let’s leave them to cramp their necks.” 

 

He made a soft sound of surprise before skimming out of his clothes and drawing the blankets over them both.  

 

Half Bath 

 

When Tauriel was out, he got back out of bed. Fili only needed four or five hours most nights, a product of too many years going to school and working full time.  It turned out that his Uncle wasn’t much impressed by his declaration to leave the force that Thorin had worked so hard to build. 

 

They still didn’t speak and Fili missed the rest of his family with the dull ache of a long ago amputation. That Kili would come with him hadn’t been much of a discussion and no one had stopped him. Only that had meant Fili supporting them both while he forced Kili through a college degree. 

 

Those had been lean years and Fili didn’t miss his belly being never quite full and his eyelids being perpetually heavy with sleep. Unforutnatly, these things leave their marks and he didn’t sleep much. 

 

Luckily he had enough paperwork to keep him occupied. Unluckily, he lived in a very small house with far too many people. Even if Kili eventually joined Tauriel in bed, Legolas would soon be waking up for his nightly insomnia rounds that sent him careening from bedroom to living room to kitchen on soundless feet. 

 

After the first few times, Fili had looked up from his monitor to find Legolas looming over his shoulder like a ghoul, he knew he had to find some privacy.  

 

The tiny bathroom was his salvation. It was a niche of a room that their landlord had apparently put in himself in an effort to raise the value of the house. He’d used what had once been a coat closet and it showed. The toilet and sink were so close together that to use one was to use the other. Legolas and Tauriel had forsaken in almost upon first attempts, their knees bruised from the effort. 

 

“It’s creepy,” Kili determined. “The wallpaper stares back at you.” 

 

Fili wasn’t keen on the wallpaper either, but he did like that he could balance his laptop on the sink and throw a pillow on top of the toilet seat and create a pleasant office space with a locked door. 

 

He retreated there after leaving Tauriel on her own and started in on his work. Most days, his job left him drained and scared and sad, but he couldn’t shake the addiction to feeling needed. Someone had to be out there, checking on kids placed in foster homes and returned to their parents’ dubious care. Someone had to hold their hands when they moved again. He’d rather it was him. 

 

His fingers danced over the keys, filling in blank spaces on endless forms that turned human pain into dry terminology. 

 

Small Bedroom 

 

Kili hadn’t meant to fall in love. He had his brother and their life together and his work. That was good. That was perfect. He even loved their terrible little rental house. Fili had chosen the house, moved in before Kili had torn himself from their childhood home. Some part of Kili would always think of it as Fili’s house.

 

He’d met Tauriel after she’d arrested half of the local police force with their kids for hunting on protected land.  Flirting between bars had whiled away the time until Bilbo showed up with the bail money and an eye roll for their Uncle. 

 

“Didn’t you show her your badge, my dear?” He’d asked in his usual wry way. 

 

“She wasn’t impressed,” Kili answered with a laugh while his Uncle scowled. “Hers is bigger!” 

 

He’d asked her out to dinner because she had been apologetic once the whole thing cleared up. He figured it was a good idea to make friends with a statie, even if she did mostly deal with the park. 

 

It wasn’t his fault she turned out to be funny, kind and the sort of beautiful that stopped breath in his throat.  He’d gone home from that first date and gotten into bed with Fili, who had turned away from him. 

 

“Go sleep in your own bed, if you’re coming home with her lipstick on.” 

 

They’d done that before. Gone back to being just brothers for a time while one of them roamed. Kili hadn’t thought much of it, though he hated sleeping alone in the smaller bedroom though the closet was filled with his things and his posters were on all the walls. He couldn’t stop seeing Tauriel though. She smelled like the woods and she fucked like it was the most fun she’d ever had. If he slept in her bed more than he took her home, she didn’t seem to mind. 

 

He realized he loved her after only four months. They’d gone out to eat and she was waiting on line for their food while he got a table. The moment he’d looked up, she had turned her head to find him and their eyes locked. 

 

It was strange, falling in love like that. Kili had never done it before. His love for Fili was an old and abiding thing that was as much a part of him as his hand or foot. This was heady and rushed and too much. 

 

So he’d told her about Fili. Right there, in the middle of the lunch rush. She had put down her sandwich and disappeared for a week. 

 

Then, just as abruptly as she’d gone, she was back. Standing in his bedroom when he got home from work and staring into his closet with her lips pursed. 

 

“I can fit my stuff in here if you throw out everything that’s more than ten years old.” 

 

“That’s most of my wardrobe,” he’d admitted, bemused. 

 

“It shows,” she reached in and plucked a holey sweatshirt off it’s hanger. 

 

“You’re moving in?” 

 

“I’m going to have sex with your brother,” she informed him, shoulders straight and without a lick of eye contact. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Well, if you can, I can,” she threw a t-shirt at him. “Help or get out of my way.” 

 

He’d helped. 

 

He’d never asked a question. 

 

He didn’t really want to know. The first time he saw Fili and her together, it had twisted his stomach into knots, but not nearly as badly as it made him painfully and instantly hard. 

 

That she would sleep in his bed and he would sleep beside her was never in question either.  When he heard Fili close the door the to the half bath, he untangled himself from Legolas and headed to bed. 

 

He climbed in beside her and sighed happily when she turned to embrace him, kissing him with rummy breath. 

 

“You’re not Fili,” she noted. 

 

“You’re not Legolas,” he brushed the hair off her forehead.

 

“Thank God,” she said fervently and they smothered their laughter under the comforter. 

 

“Love you, T,” he buried his face between her breasts and she wrapped her legs around his. 

 

“Love you too, monster.” 

 

They fell into a deep and easy sleep wrapped up together. 

 

Master Bedroom 

 

Legolas had lost Tauriel when they were very young. She’d moved away with her family, a blurry memory of red hair and a hand out the window. He remembered that they’d played an arcane game of cops and robbers, but the details were gone.  He remembered that he’d been certain she would be there for the rest of his life, his partner in mischief and fun. 

 

Sometimes, he imagines his life would be better if he’d lost her forever then. He might’ve grown up and taken over the family business. He might’ve made his father proud and done his mother’s memory justice. He might’ve married a respectable beauty and had adorable babies. 

 

Maybe. 

 

Instead, he’d been at the wrong place at just the right time. The muggers had gotten his wallet and his dignity, leaving him a drunken, bloody mess on the sidewalk not a half-block away from his apartment. 

 

“Are you okay?” Someone lifted him up. Her face swam before him and he knew her instantly despite the years, the drink and the blood dripping into his eyes. 

 

“Tauriel,” he grapsed her forearms. “I’m dead, aren’t I?” 

 

“Not yet,” her eyes widened in surprise. “Do I know you?” 

 

“Yes,” he grasped her tightly. “And you aren’t allowed to leave me again.” 

 

“Okay, you need a hospital.” 

 

She’d remembered him eventually as they sat side by side in the E.R. as he bled gently onto the tile. Head wounds were a bitch. 

 

“Legolas Greenleaf,” he told the nurse and handed over his insurance card. 

 

“Oh,” Tauriel had said so softly, so fine that he could practically hear her recalling it all. “Legolas. It’s been a long time.” 

 

“Not that long.” 

 

That was when his roommate had rushed in, still visibly high as a fucking kite. 

 

“Legolas?” Aragorn grabbed at him until he hissed with pain. “Oh, man. I told you not to go home without me.” 

 

“Ow,” Legolas offered and very elegantly fainted. 

 

Later, he’d been informed that he’d been in and out of consciousness, but what he saw was the hospital floor and then a water stained ceiling. He was laying in a bed that smelled deliciously of a man’s deodorant. The sheets were well loved cotton. 

 

“You awake now?” A deep voice asked and Legolas turned with an aching head towards the voice. It belonged to a handsome man, who was sitting propped up on the other side of the bed. 

 

“Did we fuck?” Legolas asked. 

 

“No,” the man frowned and reached out to touch his forehead. Legolas made to shrink away, his head still pounding, but the man had a wonderfully light touch.  “Good, no fever. Antibiotics are working. Do you want to use the bathroom?” 

 

“Please,” Legolas blurted before he could summon himself back together. 

 

“Okay, hold on.” 

 

The man got up and proved to be quite short, but stout enough to bear up Legolas’ weight for the short stagger to the bathroom.  

 

“Can’t leave you,” the man explained when he stood in the doorway with his back to Legolas. “You’ve got a pretty bad concussion and I don’t want you collapsing on your own.” 

 

“Whatever,” Legolas pissed and tried to summon up the details that had brought him to a stranger’s home. 

 

The mirror over the sink only told him why Tauriel might’ve had some trouble recognizing him. Under the blood, he was still wearing blood red lipstick, glitter tipped false eyelashes and enough foundation to spackle the bathroom ceiling’s crack. His wig was gone though and he hoped it wasn’t trashed. It’d been expensive. 

 

“I’ve got your dress at the dry cleaner,” the man offered, turned to face him once again and dipping under Legolas’ arm. “T said it was too nice to put in the washer. I know a decent place, they should be able to get the blood out.” 

 

“Oh,” Legolas said faintly. “Thanks.” 

 

“Here we are,” the man eased him back into the bed. 

 

“You smell really good,” Legolas mumbled. 

 

“Thanks,” the man laughed and it was a good laugh. Deep and earthy and new. “You want more painkillers.” 

 

“Fuck yes.” 

 

“Here,” they were put to his lips followed by water. 

 

“Angel,” Legolas declared. 

 

“Fili,” the man told him. 

 

“That’s a stupid name,” Legolas decided. “You’re Angel.” 

 

“Right,” Fili pulled the blankets up. “Go to sleep, princess.” 

 

Next time he woke up, he had a much more unpleasant first meeting with Fili’s impish dark haired doppelganger. Kili was far less gentle in his ministrations. When Legolas loudly protested being shoved towards the shower, Tauriel manifested out of thin air to scold them both. 

 

Fili didn’t reappear, but the sweatshirt Legolas was given to replace his torn clothes smelled of his deodorant. Tauriel brought Legolas back to his apartment and installed herself back at his side as his companion in arms. She was always around after that with her lip between her teeth when she saw how he was living. And wherever Tauriel went, there was the brat with intriguing dark eyes and fast fingers. Kili and Legolas learned to goad each other into a near frenzy of laughing pain as they tumbled like children, Tauriel occasionally kicking them apart when she decided she wanted something to eat or to head home. 

 

Maybe everything still would have gone on anyway. Maybe he would have kept working the family business and performing as Lady Greenleaf on the weekends as far away from his father as he could get. 

 

Maybe. 

 

Except that his first night back, lip synching to “Rumor Has It” in his second best dress (a dark green fringed number that hit his thigh so high it almost showed off his tuck), third best boots (brown leather molded up his calves) and his own hair teased to an inch of it’s life ( to make up for lack of a wig), he found a new admirer in the crowd. 

 

Fili was sitting in the first row of tables, a pint of beer in one hand and a neatly wrapped present on the table. Legolas raised an eyebrow at him and Fili tilted the glass toward him with a faint smile. 

 

“And that ladies, gentleman and all those in between or still deciding, was the luscious lovely Lady, “ the emcee drawled. “Legs up to here and hair down to there, what’s not to love?” 

 

Legolas disappeared into the back and wasn’t terribly surprised to find Fili waiting at the stage door, leaning against the brick with a cigarette where the beer had been. 

 

“You’re really good,” Fili offered up the wrapped box. 

 

“You watch enough drag shows to be any kind of judge?” Legolas took it, studying the taped seams. 

 

“I know what I like.” 

 

A shiver ran down Legolas’ back. He wanted Tauriel because she was strong and sure. He wasn’t usually interested in women at all, but she was his stabbing, throbbing exception. Fili was so like her that Legolas couldn’t help wanting him too. It helped that he had the kind of body that Legolas preferred: compact, muscular and hairy. Butch. 

 

“You like drag queens?” 

 

“I like mouthy assholes regardless of their gender,” Fili grinned and it was warm more like Legolas was in on the joke rather than the butt of it. “Unfortunate way for taste to run, but there you go. Open your present.” 

 

The paper gave way to a creamy box and inside, Legolas discovered his best dress well mended and an exact replica of his lost wig. 

 

“Oh,” he blinked back emotion. “Well. Thanks. My own stuff. So thoughtful.” 

 

“I have a feeling that you’re too picky to buy you anything, but what you’ve already picked out.” 

 

“You know that from meeting me once while I was on painkillers and had a concussion?” 

 

“I know that because Kili and Tauriel can’t stop talking about you. They’re waiting on me, I suspect. Though they’re too cowardly to say.” 

 

“Waiting for you to say what?” 

 

“Come home with us,” Fili held out a hand. “If you’d like. I’ve got a side of the bed with your name on it.” 

 

Legolas hadn’t liked his given side and shoved Fili to the other. They didn’t share the mattress much with their combined insomnia and crazed schedule. When they did, Legolas often felt like he was too many elbows and knees to Fili’s tidy body. They negotiated around each until they could settle like uneasy jigsaw pieces. That wasn’t their best venue. But none of that mattered because it was long before bed when Fili would smooth silk stockings up Legolas legs, zip up his dresses and tuck his hair neatly into the wig cap. It was Fili who turned the drudgery of changing from one form into another into something sensual. Legolas’ skin buzzed with pleasure by the time they were done and his performances flew ahead.

 

It might’ve been Tauriel who got Legolas to abandon his Father’s business and apply for doctoral programs and it might’ve been Kili who explained that you couldn’t live your life for what the dead would’ve wanted, but it was Fili who gave Legolas an acceptance of who he really was. In the quiet of their bedroom, even without a stitch of makeup or glitter, that Legolas was only Lady.

 

He hated the evenings when Fili was out of the house. He hated how it made Kili shaky and sharp, how it made crawling into a bottle sound like a better idea. 

 

Most of all, he hated how when he haunted the house on his rounds, he couldn’t see the light slipping under the door of the half bath or even better, catching sight of blond hair on the pillow and a hand resting open palmed, ready for him to fill.  

 

So he fell asleep with Kili and listened desperately for the opening of the door. He didn’t say anything when Fili took Tauriel to bed or when he tromped back, waking Kili. Legolas just waited, watched the half bath light up and then he got to his feet. 

 

He checked in on Tauriel and Kili, found them bound up tight and snoring in rhythm. Carefully, he drew the blanket higher up Tauriel’s shoulder and dropped a kiss on her temple. He reached over to smooth back a loose hair from Kili’s face. Then he was out again to the kitchen to boil water. While he waited, he went to organize his notes for his classes the next day. Lecturing always disturbed his tiny snatches of sleep and preparing helped. 

 

The kettle sang, he went back to the kitchen and poured two mugs, swimming tea bags rich with soothing smells into them. Back to the bedroom and he went through his closet, laying out an outfit for the next morning. Then one for the next evening. It’d be Friday and he didn’t have a gig. He considered his choices and smiled. 

 

Tea done, he grasped the mugs and tapped a toe against the door of the half bath before heading to the bedroom.  He turned off the overhead light and sat down on the comforter that smelled of men’s deodorant and jasmine. 

 

“For me?” Fili stood before him, hands open and Legolas pressed the mug between them. 

 

They drank together, listening to the house settling and the snores of their lovers in the other room, penetrating the thin walls. Emptying his own mug, Fili plucked Legolas’ from him and set them both aside. 

 

“Let’s go dancing tomorrow,” Legolas mumbled into the kiss that followed. 

 

“Will you wear something short?” 

 

“I was thinking the blue.” 

 

“I’m in,” Fili kissed Legolas neck, one hand sure at the small of his back. 

 

Front Stoop

 

Fili made a point of getting home early. Alone, he climbed into the shower to wash away the day’s cares. The grit of city streets and the smell of spit up from where one precocious infant had made their mark disappeared under the grind of soap and brisk aftershave. He dressed in crisply dry cleaned shirt and pants, nothing that would make him stand out in a crowd.  A heavy gold chain went around his neck, Kili’s name in runes on a plate. Kili wore a matching one beneath his shirt, a point of connection no matter how far they roamed.

 

Readied, he found his pack of cigarettes and went outside to wait for everyone else to come home. He only allowed himself one smoke a day, so he took his time drawing it out of box. His lighter was silver, engraved with his initials as a present from Legolas a few months back. It was too elegant for him, but it sat nicely in his pocket as a touchstone through the day.  

 

The cigarette sat between his fingers, smoke drifting skyward. 

 

Three years ago today, he had waited here for Kili to get home and instead, a stunning red head had come in his place. She’d sat down beside him and plucked the cigarette from his hand to put to her lips. 

 

“You’re Tauriel,” he’d guessed. Somehow, their paths had never quite intersected and from the way Kili had returned to his bed that week, he’d assumed they never would. 

 

“I am,” she agreed, looking him over carefully and returning the cigarette to him. “You’re the sick fuck who has sex with his baby brother.” 

 

It had been worse than than time Fili had been stabbed by a meth head. The words scored over his skin and flayed him open.  He had stared at her, vulnerable and shaking with it. 

 

“Not while he was with you,” he managed. 

 

“No. Because that would be immoral,” she tucked her arms hard around herself. “Why? You’re good looking enough to get someone else, why him?” 

 

“Because he’s the only person I’ve ever wanted,”  the ashes fell onto his pants, burning small holes in the denim. “I’m just no one without him.” 

 

“That’s exactly what he said about you,” she swallowed hard. “He said that he would never touch you again if that’s what I wanted, but that it wouldn’t change anything about how he felt.” 

 

“I think he loves you,” Fili told her because he had nothing else true to say. “He’s never...I’ve never. Confessed. Like that.” 

 

“I’m so flattered,” she said, dry as a bone. “So what, he was hoping that I’d make my peace with incest and time share my lover with you?” 

 

“He’s had stranger ideas.” 

 

“You work with children. How can you when you...you’re like this?” 

 

“I’m not a pedophile!” He straightened his spine. “He was nineteen when we started up. After that...I don’t know. I started thinking that maybe we were like this because we were pretty screwed up as kids. That maybe if someone had taken us away then it wouldn’t’ve happened.” 

 

“Would you rather it hadn’t?” 

 

“I love him,” Fili finally took another long drag, blowing the smoke out in a hard line. “But I can’t help wishing that our paths we’re easier. More normal. If I can give that to someone else than it’s nearly as good as saving him from this. Nearly.” 

 

She left after that. But she was back the next day with more questions. And the next. And the next. Eventually her questions turned to conversations and he went from cold blooded horror to a warming curiosity when she arrived. 

 

“Did you teach him how to kiss?” She asked six days into the meandering interrogation. 

 

“He dated people before me,” he shrugged. “And after. Obviously. So no. Not really.” 

 

“So then this should be different.” 

 

“What-” 

 

She kissed like a wild fire and it was all he could do not to accidentally burn her.  When she pulled away, his head spun and he could taste ketchup and onions. 

 

“We should have sex,” she informed him briskly, standing. 

 

“Excuse me?”  

“If this is going to work, we have to all be in it together.”

 

“It’d break his heart,” Fili stared up at her. Her legs were long and her features sharp. He usually preferred women rounder and softer, but Tauriel was something altogether different. This was flesh that Kili had kissed, touched and made love to. This was a person Kili loved. 

 

“It won’t because he’ll be getting what he really wants,” she reached down and he put his hand in hers. 

 

Now, he waited for her most nights with a cigarette tucked behind his ear for her. When she walked down the sidewalk, hips swaying and a smile on her lips for him, it was worth all the fear. 

 

“Hey,” he tilted his face upward. 

 

“Hey,” she kissed the tip of his nose, the corners of his lips. “We going out?” 

 

“Mhm.” 

 

She sat down beside him, pressed warm from ankle to shoulder. The cigarettes were long gone by the time Kili pulled up. He slammed the car door and ran headlong towards them. 

 

“Please tell me we’re going out,” he pleaded and whooped when Tauriel grinned. Then plastered himself to her like an eager puppy, arms around her waist and face hidden in the veil of her hair. “Where are we going?” 

 

Legolas unfolded himself far slower from the passenger side of Kili’s car, looking a little shaken as he always did after Kili’s wild races home. The summer sun caught in his hair and he looked superhuman for a breathless moment. Fili had to look away. 

 

“You look good,” Legolas tucked himself down, a step below and between Fili’s legs. He leaned back, imperious as a lord on his throne and Fili kissed the curve of his cheek. 

 

“You look better.” 

 

“Gross,” Kili decreed. 

 

“Shut it,” Tauriel pinched him and Kili yelped. 

 

They sat there awhile longer, enjoying the last of the sun with stories of the day’s trials overlapping each other. The house waited behind them, ready for all their days and nights together yet to come. 


End file.
